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Introduction: Becoming a mom is a wild ride. One moment you’re holding your tiny newborn, marveling at their perfect little toes, and the next, you’re wondering why no one told you that maternity leave feels nothing like a vacation. Motherhood changes you—completely. You might look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back. The truth is, the days are long, the nights are longer, but somehow, the years fly by.

Let’s talk about what the first year of motherhood really looks like, the challenges (spoiler: it’s not always sunshine and baby giggles), and how to embrace the chaos, loneliness, and self-doubt without losing yourself along the way. Most importantly, we’ll chat about why not loving every moment of motherhood is completely okay.

1. Maternity Leave: It’s No Holiday

I remember hearing people refer to maternity leave like it was a well-deserved break—”Enjoy your time off!” they’d say. Ha! Time off? Let’s get real. Between late-night feedings, endless diaper changes, and trying to figure out why your baby is crying (again), maternity leave is anything but restful.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s okay to admit that this isn’t what you pictured. You’ll have moments where you long for the structure of your old routine, and that’s normal. You’re learning to care for a whole new human while also figuring out who you are in this new role.

Pro Tip: Don’t feel guilty if you’re counting the days until adult conversation or even the return to work. Your career and identity outside of motherhood are important, too.

2. Feeling Lonely and Left Out? You’re Not Alone

Here’s the part no one really talks about: motherhood can be lonely. You may feel like you’re in this bubble of endless routine while life moves on outside your door. Your friends might be going to brunch, and you’re stuck at home trying to remember the last time you showered. This isolation can hit hard, especially when you see those Insta-perfect moms who seem to have it all together.

But trust me, we’ve all been there. And while the days can feel endless, it’s important to find moments of connection.

Pro Tip: Join local mommy groups like Pink Foot Pret or other mommy mornings. These gatherings give you a reason to leave the house, socialize, and—bonus—you’ll have an excuse to wash your hair at least once a week. Plus, nothing beats connecting with other moms who understand what you’re going through.

3. You Won’t Love Every Moment—And That’s Okay

Let’s tackle one of the most controversial topics: not loving every moment of motherhood. If you’ve ever scrolled through social media and thought, “Am I the only one not enjoying this?”—you’re not alone. There’s this unspoken pressure to cherish every moment, but let’s be real. It’s hard to “cherish” the fourth night in a row of no sleep, or the 17th time you’ve changed a blowout in a public bathroom.

Not loving every part of the journey doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. Motherhood is messy and exhausting, and there are plenty of moments you’ll want to fast-forward through. And guess what? That’s okay.

Pro Tip: Give yourself grace. The hard moments don’t define you as a mother. They’ll pass, and you’ll find the joy in unexpected places—like when your baby gives you their first belly laugh or finally sleeps through the night (hallelujah!).

4. Motherhood Changes Everything

They say motherhood changes everything—and it does. But it doesn’t just change your relationship with your baby. It shifts your perspective on life, your relationships with friends and family, and most importantly, your relationship with yourself. You might feel like you’ve lost parts of who you used to be, but trust me, you’re growing into someone even stronger.

The key to surviving the first year of motherhood is to take care of you—but let’s be real, finding time for yourself (or your husband) feels nearly impossible in the beginning. The truth is, self-care just looks a bit different now. Haven’t showered in three days? Let hubby take over for a while, even if baby cries the entire 30 minutes. Trust me, that uninterrupted shower and hair-washing session are worth every second.

And if you’re desperate for a moment of peace (or a hot coffee!), make yourself a cup in a travel mug, wrap baby to your chest, and head out for a walk. The fresh air will do wonders for your perspective—and bonus, you get to enjoy a hot coffee without interruptions!

When I felt like the walls were caving in with Cara (my colic baby), getting outside made a world of difference. Walking with her, even if she fussed, gave me a break from the same four walls, and I ended up bumping into other moms on walks, which led to real friendships. Those small breaks saved my sanity.

The first year of motherhood is a rollercoaster of highs and lows. The days feel long, but somehow the months fly by. It’s a time of huge transformation—physically, emotionally, and mentally. And while you might not love every moment, you’ll find joy in the small victories. The sleepless nights, the loneliness, and the doubt are all part of the journey, but so are the giggles, cuddles, and first steps.

Remember, you’re not alone. Other moms get it—we get it. So, join those mommy classes, lean on your support system, and know that you’re doing an amazing job, even on the days it doesn’t feel like it. Everything gets easier with time. #MomLife easier and prettier since 2020.